[Snort-sigs] Confessions of a SourceFire Troll

evilghost at ...3397... evilghost at ...3397...
Fri Jan 29 16:21:29 EST 2010

Ridiculous. C'mon, I get enough emails, go bother Facebook users or 

Guise McAllaster wrote:
> Hello to all,
> I'll try to be brief in explaining this email but the short story is
> that I am a recovering alcoholic.  As part of my recovery through the
> AA steps, I am apologizing to all those I have hurt or insulted as a
> result of my drinking, including online communities.  I know this is a
> long email but I have made every effort to make reading it worth your
> time.
> The truth is, I'm a SourceFire troll.  Everything I've done has been
> solely motivated by lulz and at times, I have received those lulz
> through unnecessary criticisms, insults, and outright malicious
> trolling of SourceFire and/or VRT.  Therefore I would like to
> apologize to SourceFire for this and ask their forgiveness as I heal.
> Almost everything I've said in my trolling was true (and can be
> verified, especially if I was criticizing a signature).  The only
> thing I made up was when I said my boss got upset about the
> 'kickass-porn' classtype.  That whole story was fabricated for my lulz
> but thank you for all the many SourceFire salespeople and employees
> who contacted me on and off the list.  My lulz overfloweth.  In my
> time as a SourceFire troll, I have been responsible for multiple
> SourceFire product code changes as well as many Snort rule changes.
> Despite being purely motivated as a troll, I am comforted by the fact
> that I have indirectly made Snort a better product.  For that, you are
> welcome.
> The poor English grammar, spellings, and conjugation were all a clever
> ruse.  I purported to be European, specifically French, because I
> could drop subtle condescending remarks and misspellings that would be
> construed as non-native speaking errors.  Honestly, I've never been to
> France.  I did date a girl that had been to France once, but that's a
> different story.
> I would especially like to thank Matt Olney, who throughout my
> repeated trolling and half-handed insults has remained professional
> and helpful.  It doesn't take much to get the SourceFire folks fired
> up, especially those with unjustified egos and narcissistic
> tendencies, but Matt has remained as bastion of sanity.  Despite
> numerous direct and indirect jabs, he has been courteous, responsive,
> and willing to public call me out when I blatantly insulted
> SourceFire.  I consider him a true Information Security professional.
> Nigel, I would also like to thank you because your responses were my
> favorite of all.  I used to think of VRT as a bunch of middle
> schoolers -- they couldn't help but respond to an insult.  Your
> responses helped keep me motivated.  If replies and emotion are the
> food of the troll I can honestly say I was fed to the point of being
> morbidly obese.  I was constantly at an all your can eat buffet that
> included desert and after-dinner mints.  I was bathing in lulz too.
> I also understand that there are a large number of SF/VRT employees,
> behind the scenes, who don't respond to the list.  I'd like to think
> that I was a topic of conversation internally.  I do believe, without
> question, that some of my carefully crafted replies and fabricated
> scenario caused internal changes, allocation of resources, and perhaps
> some anger.  I do believe Nigel got his hand slapped although to my
> chagrin, I suspect that "Old Nigel" might be back.
> I am hesitant to reveal my true identity because of potential backlash
> but I will say to those of you still reading this, I have worked with
> many of you in the past (and maybe present :P ).  I do hope that I can
> move forward, in a positive fashion, and become a productive member of
> the SourceFire community.  I trust you can look past these past
> transgressions as a product of my disease (alcoholism).
> Also, my name is pronounced "Juice".  To be honest, this apology is
> bitter-sweet.  I'm moving forward as a good person but at the same
> time I feel that I'm leaving a large amount of lulz behind and I
> enjoyed much of our banter.  Please accept my apology and lets move
> forward with continued discovery and suggestions for enhancing Snort,
> VRT rules, and perception.
> Guise McAllaster III
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